Do you ever look back on an event in your life and remember that while you were in it you said, "Why, why, why is this happening to me?," and then later on realize exactly what that event brought to you? I can see it now. I can see the amazing growth in myself from the hardest events of my life. I am such a different person than I used to be. There have been drastic changes from as early as even a year ago. Thank goodness I am not that person that I see when I read over old journal entries. As I reflect, I am left wondering what the latest events have in store for me.
Happiness is a choice.
I am a big fan of choices. I may have a hard time choosing sometimes, but I really hate it when I am not given a choice (even if it's the right one that I am forced to). It also bothers me when people don't respect other peoples right to choose. You have that right, why shouldn't everyone else?
There are seemingly infinite choices before me now. Anything could happen, and what will I choose?
Monday, July 27, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Random
* I got my first real haircut yesterday. I never thought that I would have bangs again after my "Charlie Girl" attempt in fifth grade. Ugh, I try not to remember that one.
* It feels so great to be able to fix my own car! Thank you Dad.
* It is amazing when you find a song that you can listen to over and over and completely relate to, but it is that much better when you discover an entire album of gems.
* I can remember the exact moment when my heart opened to the beauty of Las Cruces. It is hot here, and I may not want to stay in this city forever, but it is a great place.
* Even with all the bad lately, I know that something good is coming. I don't know what it is - but it's going to be so great that I can't even imagine it.
* I am remembering that I learned a while ago that it is possible to lie to yourself and not realize it. Now I am scrutinizing myself, looking for the signs of the bad liar that I know I am. Do second chances really exist or am I fabricating it just to make myself feel better?
* I am really bad at surprising people. I get ideas and then can't keep them to myself. I had a good one in the making recently, and I was doing so good at keeping the lid on it. Sadly, due to things beyond my power, I will not get the chance to see it through.
* Sometimes I am tempted to fork over the cash to buy Uncorked, a little known movie that is one of my favorites. Now is one of those times.
* The letter L on my keyboard has decided not to work unless I punch it. Times like these I think again about getting a Mac.
* I have amazing friends!
* I am excited that Tommy is going to be in Albuquerque. As a part of my decision to do more 'planned spontaneity' (that makes sense but makes no sense at the same time), I am figuring out a way to go to the concert. He always puts on a great show. I'll never forget my amazement at his talent when I first saw him perform in Logan. It blew me away, and I didn't even think I liked guitar music then. It was a ridiculous attempt at trying to find common ground in a relationship that was failing. I knew that. However, the music really did win me over, and eventually it really did form into common ground with that person.
* I've discovered an amazing restaurant - that I can eat at. Often times I feel disappointed after going out to eat. It is a let down to realize that I could have made a better meal than the one that is brought to me. With my dietary restrictions it is also very difficult to find more than two or three things on any given menu that I can actually have without getting sick later. However, at this restaurant I have almost the entire menu to choose from. On top of that, I could even have their dessert without feeling the least bit guilty. Yeah for Thai food! Yeah for hole-in-the-wall local eateries! I will be returning.
* It feels so great to be able to fix my own car! Thank you Dad.
* It is amazing when you find a song that you can listen to over and over and completely relate to, but it is that much better when you discover an entire album of gems.
* I can remember the exact moment when my heart opened to the beauty of Las Cruces. It is hot here, and I may not want to stay in this city forever, but it is a great place.
* Even with all the bad lately, I know that something good is coming. I don't know what it is - but it's going to be so great that I can't even imagine it.
* I am remembering that I learned a while ago that it is possible to lie to yourself and not realize it. Now I am scrutinizing myself, looking for the signs of the bad liar that I know I am. Do second chances really exist or am I fabricating it just to make myself feel better?
* I am really bad at surprising people. I get ideas and then can't keep them to myself. I had a good one in the making recently, and I was doing so good at keeping the lid on it. Sadly, due to things beyond my power, I will not get the chance to see it through.
* Sometimes I am tempted to fork over the cash to buy Uncorked, a little known movie that is one of my favorites. Now is one of those times.
* The letter L on my keyboard has decided not to work unless I punch it. Times like these I think again about getting a Mac.
* I have amazing friends!
* I am excited that Tommy is going to be in Albuquerque. As a part of my decision to do more 'planned spontaneity' (that makes sense but makes no sense at the same time), I am figuring out a way to go to the concert. He always puts on a great show. I'll never forget my amazement at his talent when I first saw him perform in Logan. It blew me away, and I didn't even think I liked guitar music then. It was a ridiculous attempt at trying to find common ground in a relationship that was failing. I knew that. However, the music really did win me over, and eventually it really did form into common ground with that person.
* I've discovered an amazing restaurant - that I can eat at. Often times I feel disappointed after going out to eat. It is a let down to realize that I could have made a better meal than the one that is brought to me. With my dietary restrictions it is also very difficult to find more than two or three things on any given menu that I can actually have without getting sick later. However, at this restaurant I have almost the entire menu to choose from. On top of that, I could even have their dessert without feeling the least bit guilty. Yeah for Thai food! Yeah for hole-in-the-wall local eateries! I will be returning.
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